Let’s write one here,
About a quest for shoes,
The quest of a girl with big
Feet, size 42, not 41, UK size
9 not 8, if she’s honest
With herself today, the
Girth from ‘little’ toe to
Big is the kind of substantial
A man boasts of but
A woman hides in shame
In a pair of furry Uggs
Under a puffy coat or
Forgiving bell bottoms,
Bravely taking on the mud’s
Jeering face.
In she goes, the MEN’s
Section, less shameful at
Christmas, fall back on
Pretence of shopping for
Spouses, brothers, uncles, boyfriends,
Big boots with big buckles
To accommodate long feet
And hairy ankles in sturdy comfort-
Firm soles, 100 % natural
Rubber to support the tread of 6 foot
15 stone, if need be, not her
Fluctuating 12 to 13 frame, 5foot 11, if
She’s standing straight, less, if
On a short date with a short man,
Mostly sitting down, if she can find
A chair and a table to hide the boot
That weighs the crossed leg down.
Still, never mind, better to be well – shod
Than tottering about in heels
2 sizes down, that never fit and
Never will, unless she gets over the
Strange condition that makes her
Feet too big: Acromegaly, it’s called,
Google it if you’re confused or bored,
Or if you find you change size
From day to day, no matter how much
Choc you didn’t eat or beers you didn’t
Drink – men have it too, but it’s
Easy for them to like big shoes.
Being Every Day 